Baby Shower Blues

I’m feeling nervous about my baby shower.

I’m throwing it earlier than as is “traditional”, as I was reminded of immediately after receiving a complaint from one of the future grandparents about the date I chose and how they would be out of town. Not to mention, this was much too early of a date.

I was crushed.

I’m doing this by myself. I’ll be planning and setting up every increment of my own baby shower myself, without help from any family members or friends.

I entrusted a friend of 10+ years with taking care of all the details of the shower. She volunteered and told me she didn’t want me worrying about anything. She set up an event for it on Facebook. I filled in the details on the whole page. I sent out a message to all the invited guests, asking them to send their mailing information to her for the invitations. I checked with her three weeks later, she’d collected about four or five. My own boyfriend had sent her more than that himself that he’d gathered from friends and family.

Then I finally buy the invitations. I sent out another request to the guests in the Facebook event, asking them to send ME their mailing information as my planner had fallen through and I would be doing it myself. I waited two weeks and sent out multiple requests to everyone, on mine and my boyfriend’s personal pages as well. Finally, I sat down to write out these invitations, all forty of them and their envelopes, myself. I plan to mail them out the next morning, first thing.

Immediately, I’m being asked if I sent invitations to so-and-so and so-and-so. Well, did they send me their mailing information, like I asked them directly to? Of course not, but that’s on me in their minds. How could I have overlooked them while waiting for a response if they were interested for months? When did baby showers become about the guests being an inconvenience over it being about the mother and baby?

I always thought that when I had my children, they would be part of a larger family that was interested in them and wanted to be around. What I’m finding instead is more and more reasons to move away.


More Pre-Fall Cleaning

When I was little, my mother would overhaul the house twice a year, doing major cleaning and re-organization. My sisters and I would come home and every random chair and stool or the coffee table would be up on the couch so she could get to the floors (probably her last step before we terrors were loosed on the house from school). She would do this all by herself, with no help from her sister or her husband. I still have no clue how she had the energy to do all this herself. I’m talking pulling her knick-knacks off of every shelf, dusting, Pledging the wood shelves, the coffee table, the French doors which led into the kitchen from our entryway, sweeping, vacuuming and mopping the floors, switching out all her seasonal house decorations with the ones for the next season, including a flag hanging out front that she changed constantly, and not just for holidays. This woman would clean the two kids’ bedrooms, do all of our laundry  and still make us dinner.

I asked her recently how she even managed to keep up the energy for all of this with four kids. She gave me a dodgy answer about how she just did it. Well when she did, the house always had a wonderful energy. The windows would be open, the vent fan on to air out the house before it got too cold, a candle burning (because at this point, flames were still a very exotic thing to our young selves). Maybe that’s part of the reason why I love fall so much. The home is alive with real air, instead of hiding behind closed windows in air conditioning.

Today the man and I continued with the overhaul of our home that I initiated a week ago. As I’m pregnant, my endurance definitely isn’t what it was before and it irritates me to no end that I exhaust myself on simple tasks. During last week, I began pulling boxes out of our second bedroom (what will be the nursery) and beginning a bag for things that I was going to throw away and a box of things to give away. I’m about three boxes down, which doesn’t sound like much, but it’s progress! Last night I began cleaning and organizing the kitchen. Things will stay in our pantry for six months before I throw out that half-eaten bag of Doritos. Unfortunately, my damned cat has been climbing through the false window in between the kitchen and family room to get to a shelf and has continually knocked things down, causing something to fall on top of and break the lid of my new dehydrator. By new I don’t mean that it was a better model than the one that I used to have, I mean that I didn’t have one before and just got this one! Ahhhhhh, CATS! My other cat doesn’t cause much issue, so I KNOW that it wasn’t her. Today while the man and his bestie worked on clearing out said shelf and all the pig gear (we also have a mini pig) from the family room and moving all of the aforementioned into the laundry room to free up space for more comfortable times hanging out with friends, I continued my game of Keep/Throw-Away/Donate in my bedroom. I didn’t get through the whole room, but I did make a sizable dent and progress is progress!

Maybe in a few days I’ll be able to kick my feet up and do some knitting. However, I’m currently low on funds to be getting my hands on the yarn and needles I need for the project that I’m wanting to begin. It’s a shawl by the name of Swamp Witch on Ravelry. My username on there is BelieveInLucky, send me a message! I could always use some more online fiber friends ^_^

Don’t Be *THAT* Customer

I’d like to preface this post with the fact that I have been working in the customer service field for eleven years, from every front of house position in restaurants, to working behind a desk at a hair salon for men, even to fast food (at a particular, favorite Tex-Mex of mine ^_^. I ate the food the WHOLE year I worked there)…and I feel like I’m getting to the point where even though I thought I had seen it all in the way of deliberate rudeness and generally not giving a damn about the poor fellow human being who is unfortunate enough to be stuck in your service, no matter how temporarily, I have seen a DEFINITE DECLINE in the way that people treat those working in the customer service field.

I’ll also go ahead and say that it’s the big business’ fault for pandering to customers the way that they do, treating the mass of people who frequent their businesses like three year olds who are to be handed everything from the employees’ fingers, allowed to throw tantrums so that THEY don’t have to follow the same guidelines laid down for EVERYONE and treat anyone who doesn’t kiss their ass, bend over backwards for them while they stand and stare at you or even ignore you and generally bob about and smile like an idiot, agreeing with whatever they say or demand, like scum stuck to the bottom of their shoes. We don’t bother you enough to inconvenience you until we have to ask you required questions. Then you sigh, roll your eyes and answer rudely, like we give a damn whether or not you want your receipt and are bothering you for personal information.

So anyway, here are a few examples of horrendous behavior that I’ve seen both recently and frequently. I do want to add that of course, not everyone fits this profile. Everyone is different. If this does fit your experience, I suggest you stop being such an awful example of a human being. If not for yourself, do it for the fact that we laugh about you for days after you leave.

  • If you arrange and rearrange items on my belt as it’s moving and I’m reaching for said items to scan them (and bag them while you stare at me), it makes me nervous. Don’t do this! It messes up my flow. The items are already up on the belt. Why do you keep moving things? Are you solving a puzzle? Trying to defuse a bomb? Just leave it!
  • If you brought your own bags for me to load (for you), let me know before you allow me to scan fifteen items and pack them all into a store bag. Naturally, you’ll stand there and stare at me as I unload everything by myself and repack it into the bag that you knew you brought into the store from the moment you pulled it out of your car. You knew that you had it before you emptied your cart. How about you offer to do THAT BAG yourself since it was YOUR FAULT so that I can continue to scan and bag the rest of your groceries MYSELF? Thanks.
  • If your children continue to stick their fingers into the edges of moving belts, I shouldn’t have to keep watching them and telling them to watch their fingers while you space out on your phone. What would happen if your child was hurt due to your own negligence in my store? You’d probably sue, because that’s the American way, right? Your children should also not be hammering the button to my belt while I’m trying to USE IT for YOUR GROCERIES. They shouldn’t be allowed to steal giant handfuls of paperclips/rubberbands/whatever other tools we have to better serve you. IF YOU ALLOW THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR, YOU SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED IN PUBLIC, LET ALONE ALLOWED TO TAKE YOUR CHILDREN OUT.
  • If I have to prompt you through every step of your credit card transaction, when the terminal screen isn’t even FACING ME because you can’t be bothered to pay attention for more than thirty seconds, you probably aren’t intelligent enough to be let out of the house. I can’t imagine how you even made your way here.

In closing, I’d just like to say that everyone really needs to start taking a closer look at how they treat the people waiting on them in everyday life. Just because someone can’t respond in the fashion that you truly deserve, doesn’t mean you should act in a way that would horrify your parents.


Taking a Look Back and Taking Responsibility

I’m sure there are things that every woman who is pregnant for the first time worries about from her past. In this case, there are a few things between my mother and I that have needed to be discussed and put behind us a long time ago.

Unfortunately, my mother’s reaction was to try and put me on a guilt trip, deflect everything I brought up and lie about not remembering me bringing up a trauma to her and her telling me to just put it behind me at age seventeen, eighteen.

It ended in her telling me (her newly pregnant first child) that she wouldn’t be anywhere around and that she would mail me the pregnancy journal that she ordered for me. She lives twenty minutes away. Now I’ll just be waiting another couple weeks before I can journal along with the baby’s brand-new growth because of her pettiness, IF she’s even actually mailing it at all.

What a start to my baby’s life. Well, your grandmother and I don’t get along because she denies my sexual assault as a young girl and then put me at arm’s length rather than talk about it. Then continued to send me harassing messages, poking at me more, telling me that I don’t deserve an apology “because I’d just use it against her” and then telling me to “Have a nice day” with a smiley face emoticon at the end.

All this started after I contacted my sister (2nd out of my mother’s 4 children) to ask her if she wanted to spend some time together while my boyfriend was in class. She told me no, that she, our mother and the other two girls were going to dinner. As usual, I got no invitation and MD (Mommy Dearest) still hadn’t given me the gas money she promised me for moving a bunch of furniture in my truck for another one of my sisters. So I sent her a message, told her that it really hurt my feelings that I hear about her and my sisters getting out and doing things all the time from my sisters, not from her and that somehow, I don’t seem to ever garner an invitation. The only time I get included is when MD needs my assistance with something or connections through me to get something that she wants. Then I get pushed out of her inner circle again.

If that’s the only way that she can be, especially in a situation like this, then I don’t need her poisoning my mind and heart. I’ve only been yearning for a relationship with her my whole life and if her only response is to keep stabbing me in the heart, I don’t need her in my child’s life either.

I sat and talked with another of my sisters and she told me a little bit about the five year plan that she’s been working on. I definitely took that idea to heart because I know where I’d like to end up in five years, I just need to plan and do really good about the in-between time. Let’s just say for now that Baby agrees with me and we both like the thought of somewhere warm. It’s on. Time to get started on some classes. Wish me good luck and godspeed, I’m growing Luckier and smarter every day. On my way to earning being wise.

Time to Grow Up

I found out a few days ago that I’m pregnant  and I’ve decided to keep the baby. However, this means that it’s time to grow up a little bit for me.

Fortunately in one way, I’m not working right now, so I have more time to focus on myself, reading up and trying not to stress myself out.

Also fortunately for me, my boyfriend has taken a healthy interest in making sure that I’m getting enough to eat and in the right spread, nutritionally. I love him to death and thank goodness that he’s being so helpful.

So far my goals for becoming a healthier mommy-to-be include:

Staying better hydrated, keeping sugar out of my diet and doing kegels so that my uterus doesn’t fall out down the line.